I mean, my 11 year old was able to quickly compile a microSD with just about every 2600, 7800, and NES game ever made, as well as some choice arcade games, and play all of them on this thing, but when your intent in writing an opinion piece is to just dump on everything and be an edgelord, you're probably not going to do much actual research. Kinda pitiful that you can't match the technical level of an 11 year old, but tout yourself as some OG rooting guru.
Take, for example, the joystick. It has (hope you're sitting down) THREE GAMEPLAY BUTTONS!! NOT JUST ONE! OMG!!...
It's like you're some troll who never even touched the product you're crying about... How tf I stumbled across this tripe is beyond me, guarantee I won't make this mistake again.